When Fertility Advice Doesn’t Feel Helpful (Even If It Comes from Love)

think we need to talk about something that doesn’t always get acknowledged — how hard it can feel when people offer unsolicited fertility advice.

It might come from a good place. Sometimes it really does. A family member might suggest trying supplements, or a friend might tell you about someone who got pregnant after cutting out gluten, or tracking ovulation with a certain app. You might smile, nod, say thank you — and still feel like a knife just turned in your gut.

Because sometimes, even the most well-meaning advice can leave you feeling misunderstood. Or reduced to a checklist of fixes. Or like your body has become a group project that everyone wants to solve.

That’s what people don’t always see.

They don’t see the private moments. The Google rabbit holes at 2am. The quiet sobbing in the shower after another month of “not yet.” The sharpness in your chest when someone else announces their baby news, and you want so badly to be happy, but it also stings.

They don’t see the courage it takes to keep going.

And so when they say “just relax,” or “have you tried this vitamin?”, it might hit a nerve — not because you're ungrateful, but because you're already trying so hard.

You're already doing so much.

If you’re in that space right now — navigating fertility uncertainty while smiling through advice you didn’t ask for — I just want you to know that I see you. You’re not being too sensitive. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re not broken.

You’re a human being carrying hope inside of you, often without much space to talk about how complex that really is.

This isn’t a blog with a solution or a checklist. It’s not a pivot into a pitch. It’s just an acknowledgment — that this road can be long, and lonely, and layered.

And if you’ve ever walked out of a conversation with your chest tight, your throat burning, wondering why it felt so hard — this might be why.

Because what you really need might not be advice.

It might just be someone to say:

“I know this is a lot. And I’m not here to fix you — I’m just here to sit with you in it.”

That’s what I hope this little corner of the internet feels like. Not an answer, not a sale. Just a deep breath. A quiet space. A reminder that you’re not the only one navigating this.

You’re doing better than you think.

And you’re not alone.

— Jacqueline