Why Won’t My Newborn Sleep?
Understanding the Real Science of Newborn Sleep
It’s easy to think something is wrong when your baby only sleeps in your arms or wakes the second you try to set them down. But the truth is: newborn sleep is biologically different from adult sleep.
In the early weeks, babies spend about half their time in light, active sleep — a stage that helps their brains grow and wire properly. Their sleep cycles last 30–50 minutes, not the 90 minutes adults enjoy. They wake often because their bodies are built to keep you close.
That isn’t a flaw — it’s protection.
Why “Good Sleepers” Aren’t the Goal
When someone asks, “Is she a good sleeper?” it can make you feel like you’re failing. But “good sleep” at this age doesn’t mean eight uninterrupted hours. It means safe, supported rest where baby’s needs are met quickly, and you get small stretches of restorative rest too.
Babies this young simply don’t have mature circadian rhythms yet. They can’t tell night from day until about 8–12 weeks of age, and their ability to connect multiple sleep cycles comes even later.
The Problem With “Cry It Out” for Newborns
It’s tempting to believe there’s a method that will fix things fast — but newborns can’t self-soothe. Leaving a baby to cry for long stretches can raise cortisol levels and confuse the very attachment that helps them eventually sleep better.
Responding quickly doesn’t “spoil” them. It builds trust. That secure attachment forms the foundation for independent sleep later on.
So What Can You Actually Do?
You can gently shape rhythms and protect your own sanity — without resorting to harsh methods.
Watch your baby’s sleepy cues instead of the clock.
Create a soft bedtime routine: dim lights, gentle voice, warm feed.
Keep baby close — room sharing reduces SIDS risk and makes feeding easier.
Nap when you can, and let others care for you.
Early support is about nurturing calm and restoring energy, not teaching independence that doesn’t yet exist.
When Sleep Coaching Really Helps
Most babies aren’t developmentally ready for structured sleep coaching until about five months old. That’s when they begin to form more predictable nap patterns and can learn to settle with guidance that doesn’t involve tears or separation.
If your baby is approaching that stage, or if you just want to understand how to get through the early weeks with more rest and confidence, you’ll love this page I created for parents like you:
👉 The Science of Newborn Sleep (Without Cry-It-Out)
Final Thoughts
Your newborn isn’t refusing to sleep — they’re learning to feel safe. Every time you respond, rock, hum, and hold, you’re teaching their nervous system what safety feels like. That’s the foundation for all good sleep to come.